


don't think i don't think about it

by xavierurban



Series: bless the broken road [14]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Green Arrow (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Arrowfam, Awkward situations, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Abuse, Insecurity, Jason Todd the Literature Nerd, M/M, Meeting the Family, Meeting the ex, Multiple Pov, Oliver Queen’s Famous Chili, Protective Oliver Queen, Protective Roy Harper, Reconciliation, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xavierurban/pseuds/xavierurban
Summary: Roy, Lian, and Jason head up to Star City for dinner with the Queens. It involves biting off a little more than anyone was prepared to chew.
Relationships: Connor Hawke/Kyle Rayner, Oliver Queen/Dinah Lance, Past Kyle Rayner/Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Series: bless the broken road [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1328723
Comments: 50
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a few things, before we get started. one: i am so, so sorry for the delay in getting to this. i never meant for this series to go on an unannounced hiatus like it did. two: due to a lot of RL stuff, and also getting distracted with other inspiration, i wasn’t able to do the amount of research into mia and connor that i’d hoped to, and my knowledge of ollie and dinah is limited largely to young justice, the earlier seasons of cw’s arrowverse, and that one volume of kevin’s smith’s green arrow that i read years ago. but i decided to bite the bullet and just start writing anyway, and i’ve been picking at this on and off for... a very long time. that being said, if anyone seems grossly ooc or even if you just have tips on writing members of the arrowfam, please don’t hesitate to let me know. you know, politely.
> 
> this installment is going to introduce a new relationship (past, naturally) for jason, and i went back and forth on the decision for a long time after originally making it in a burst of excitement and inspiration. i think it's one of the reasons this fic gave me so much trouble - was i being too self-indulgent? is this too unrealistic? will it put readers off? - but i’ve decided to keep it, because, well, it’s my series, and i want to. nonetheless, i really hope it’s the kind of ‘unrealistic coincidence’ that most people are fine enough writing off in fiction. i mean, c’mon, we’ve accepted worse from dc canon itself, lbr.
> 
> and one last thing, because i feel obligated to mention it in every fic that brings up star city; it’s in new york bc i Fucked Up early on in the series. just go with it.
> 
> title from Don't Think I Don't Think About It by Darius Rucker.

It’s only a few days after the call from Max before Jason hears back from the lawyers about the new court date, which is less than a month away. It's going to be a hectic end to the summer, what with seeing Damian off to college and then heading back to London himself.

Oh, and going to Star City just before that to have dinner with Roy’s family.

Yeah. That's a thing that's going to be happening.

Roy had brought it up a few days after their big talk, explaining that Oliver had invited them but that Roy hadn't wanted to spring it on him immediately after such an emotional night. Jason had been grateful for the reprieve, in all honesty. He had always gotten along well enough with Roy's parents when he'd met them at various events, but Roy had already admitted that Oliver wasn't keen on them dating, and so the thought of meeting him again in this capacity had been enough to send Jason’s anxiety spiraling.

It's been two weeks now since Jason told Roy the truth, and that dinner is almost upon them.

Jason’s been a wreck all morning, driving everyone in the Manor crazy as he stresses himself out about the evening ahead of him. Steph had dropped by mid-morning, ostensibly to bother Alfred for help with her ironing, but Jason knows that she’s just been put on Jason-duty with Damian gone. Regardless of why she’s there, even she starts to get annoyed with his fretting. Where initially she’d helped Jason pick out an outfit and try to tame his hair, by the time Roy actually arrives, she’s scowling and biting out a comment about how Jason’s being ridiculous, and _it’s only Queen, Jason. Stop acting like you’re headed to the slaughter._

As if Jason doesn’t know that he’s being crazy. As if he needs the reminder.

He’s almost grateful to make his escape, except he’s too nervous to feel it fully. He’s sure his family is grateful, though.

The drive to New York seems to take both an eternity and no time at all, and Jason is far from ready when Roy pulls up to the gates in front of Queen Mansion.

Which is stupid, really, because it’s not like he’s never _met_ Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance before, but he’d never met them as _their son’s boyfriend_ , and that was a whole different ballpark. And that’s not even counting the fact that Roy’s siblings would be there, too - and Jason _knows_ siblings, okay, knows that they’re arguably even harder to impress than the parents.

His anxiety must be clear enough to see, because Roy reaches over to grab his hand once they clear the gates, squeezing it lightly before he returns to the gearshift.

“They’re all going to love you, Jay,” he reassures him, and Jason can feel the tips of his ears getting warm. “They’d have to be nuts not to.”

Jason forces out a chuckle and casts a wary glance towards the mansion as they approach it.

“Dad always says Queen is insane,” he jokes, and Roy snorts next to him.

“Okay,” he agrees, “but he’s not the bad kind of nuts. Promise.” He shoots a glance towards the rearview mirror and smirks as he asks, “Ain’t that right, Lian? Grampy’s the fun kinda crazy, huh?”

Lian giggles brightly, clapping her hands and kicking her feet against the backseat. Some of the tension in Jason’s shoulders melts away.

“Grampy isn’t crazy, Daddy!” she tells them. Then she giggles again and says, “He’s just silly.”

“Oops,” Roy says, grinning as he parks the car and shuts it off. “My bad. You heard the girl: he’s just silly, Jay. Nothing to worry about!”

Jason huffs out a laugh, his eyes rolling a little at Roy’s antics, but he feels himself relax further.

Everything is going to be just fine. It has to be.

Jason gets out of the car when Roy does, going around to pop the trunk while the other man deals with Lian. He pulls out the bottle of wine he’d picked up for the Queens, holding it carefully as he closes the trunk again and then steps around to meet Roy and Lian. Roy gives him one last reassuring smile, his hand closing over the back of Jason’s neck and squeezing gently before he lets go. Lian pulls Roy eagerly towards the front steps.

Jason takes one last deep breath, lets it out, and then follows.

Dinah meets them at the door, stooping down to swing Lian up into her arms right away. She offers Jason and Roy both a smile as she straightens back up.

“Nana!” Lian shrieks, clinging onto the front of Dinah’s blouse with one hand as she’s settled on her grandmother’s hip, and Dinah turns that smile on her.

“Lian!” she chimes back before she leans in to pepper kisses over the girl’s cheeks. “Oh, we missed you so much, sweetie.”

Lian beams at her, eyelashes batting innocently as she asks, “Did you get me a present in France?”

Roy groans, dragging his hand down his face, and Jason can’t help but laugh.

“Lian,” Roy says sternly, “remember how Daddy told you that it’s rude to _ask_ for presents?”

Lian pouts, her legs kicking slightly as she looks at her father and then back at Dinah.

“Sorry, Nana,” she says, sounding sullen. Dinah chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of her forehead.

“That’s alright, sweetie,” she says, and then she squeezes Lian closer before bending down to let her go. Lian is reluctant, but she finally concedes, setting her feet back down on the ground as Dinah gives her a conspiratorial grin. “As a matter of fact, we _did_ get you a gift," she says. "Why don’t you go run and find Grampy so he can get it out for you?”

Lian cheers, her little fist flying up into the air and everything, and then she zips off to do just that.

Dinah straightens up once more, hands instinctively moving to smooth down her skirt.

“It’s good to see you, Roy,” she says, finally greeting her son. She leans in to press a kiss to Roy’s cheek and then turns her attention to Jason and adds, “Hello, Jason.”

She sounds as friendly as ever, but Jason still feels his throat go dry under her gaze. He swallows, and then he clears his throat before holding out the bottle of wine.

“It’s nice to see you again, Miss. Lance,” he says, managing to sound a lot less nervous than he feels, but his cheeks are still undoubtedly tinted pink as her gaze softens. “Roy said you like shiraz, and my mother swears by this one.”

“Thank you,” Dinah replies as she takes the bottle from him, gaze flicking briefly to the label before returning to Jason. “And, please, call me Dinah. This is a family dinner.”

Jason blushes darker, but he nods nonetheless, and Dinah finally turns her attention back to Roy.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” she scolds him, and Roy huffs even as he dutifully moves behind Jason and starts to help him out of his jacket.

“I’ll make a gentleman out of that one yet,” Dinah chuckles, winking at Jason before she turns away. “Let me just go drop this off in the kitchen. Why don’t you two go settle down in the sitting room?”

She waits for Roy’s acknowledgement before she slips away, and Jason bites his lip as Roy slides his jacket down off his arms and then turns to hang it up in the closet. Jason slips his shoes off, setting them neatly on the mat by the door, and he frowns slightly when he looks up to see Roy watching him.

“What?” he asks, anxiety swirling in his gut, but Roy just shakes his head and then steps closer to kiss him. Jason makes an undignified noise at that, and Roy only kisses him more deeply, leaving him just the right side of breathless when he pulls back and then kicks off his own sneakers.

“C’mon,” he says as he takes Jason’s hand into his own and starts to tug him further into the foyer. “Time to face the music.”

God, but he wishes Roy wouldn’t put it quite like that. Still, the feeling of Roy’s palm against his own is comforting, and Jason forces himself to stay relaxed. Or, well. As relaxed as he can be when knowing he’s seconds away from ‘meeting’ Roy’s father.

Roy’s father who, sure, he technically already knows, but not like _this_ , and who has already expressed displeasure with Roy dating an al Ghul.

Sure, nothing at all to be worried about.

* * *

Oliver is already in the sitting room when they reach it, Lian sitting on his knee and making big doe eyes at the gift bag sitting on the floor by his other foot.

“--t a minute, sweetpea,” he’s telling her as he ruffles her hair. “Wait for Daddy and Nana to join us so they can watch you, too.”

Roy’s hand tightens around Jason's own for a moment before loosening. Jason finds himself gravitating a half-step behind Roy as they walk further into the room, not quite hiding behind him but still putting Roy between himself and the other occupants of the room.

“Daddy!” Lian calls, bouncing with enough energy that Oliver has to reach out to steady her before she can topple off his lap and onto the floor. “Where did Nana went?”

“Where did Nana _go,_ ” Oliver corrects, and she rolls her eyes before giving her father an expectant look.

“Patience, little missy,” Roy tells her, his eyebrow raising, “or you won’t get to open it until after dinner.”

“Daaaaad,” Lian whines, her arms crossing as she gives her most dramatic pout. Jason blinks, startled by how much her mannerisms remind him of Dick. The corner of Roy’s mouth twitches like he wants to smirk, and Jason wonders if he knows what he’s thinking or if he’s just amused by his daughter’s dramatics.

“Li- _aaaan_ ,” Roy replies easily, sticking his tongue out at her when she pouts even harder. Oliver rolls his eyes.

“Remind me which one of you is the five-year-old?” he asks, and Jason can’t help but laugh, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth as his eyes widen a little at the outburst. Heat spreads across his cheeks once more and he ducks his head when Oliver’s attention is suddenly drawn to him. His shoulders start to draw up towards his ears almost unconsciously, but Jason forces them back down when Roy squeezes his hand again.

“Ollie,” Roy says, and it’s not _sharp_ , not exactly, but his tone doesn’t seem quite as easy-going as it had when he was speaking to Dinah, “I believe you and Jason have met?”

Oliver’s gaze drags over him, assessing, and Jason swallows hard as he forces himself to stand his ground. Oliver isn’t a _threat_ , not physically - but he could be, if he wanted to be, he has the size for it, has the bulk, but - he’s just. He’s just Roy’s dad, is all. Lian’s grandfather. Someone who wants to make sure no one untoward is trying to sneak into his family’s lives. It’s. It’s not a bad thing.

Jason’s just afraid that Oliver will realise he doesn’t deserve to make the cut.

“Yes,” Oliver says finally, “we have.” He lifts Lian gently, dumping her down into the chair after he stands, and then he approaches them, his hands tucked casually into the pockets of his slacks.

Jason, somehow, manages to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Queen,” he says, extending his hand towards the man. He’s gratified to see that it’s not shaking half as badly as he had expected. “Thank you for having me.”

Oliver just looks at him for another moment, his eyebrow raised slightly, but Jason refuses to drop his hand, not even when it starts to seem awkward. Roy gives a dry cough, and Oliver finally extends his own arm, shaking Jason’s hand a bit too firmly; it’s a warning, no doubt, and Jason tries and fails to hide his wince.

 _“Ollie,”_ Roy snaps, and the other man blinks, something in his gaze softening just the slightest bit as it tracks over Jason’s features once more. He lets go, and Jason presses himself closer to Roy’s side, letting out a shaky breath as Roy’s arm drapes around his shoulders.

“Yes, well,” Oliver says as his hand returns to his pocket. He cuts a brief, disapproving look towards Roy. “It seemed prudent. Imagine my surprise when those tabloids came out.”

Jason shifts uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the ground as his cheeks warm. Roy groans.

“C’mon, Ollie,” he complains, “I’ve already apologized. You’ve gotta let it go, man.”

Oliver just hums, but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before Dinah finally arrives. She takes one look at them, catching onto the growing tension in the room, and shoots Oliver a disapproving glare of her own before she makes a beeline for Lian who is trying to sneak a peek into her bag.

“Lian,” she says, chuckling fondly, and everyone’s gaze shifts to the little girl as she’s caught red-handed. “Now, you wouldn’t be snooping, would you?”

“No, Nana,” she says as she sits up straight and puts on her most charming smile.

Roy gives a huff of fond exasperation, his arm tightening briefly around Jason’s shoulders before he lets him go and pulls away.

“C’mon, Jaybird,” he says as he nudges him towards one of the sofas. Jason follows obediently, settling in next to him despite Roy’s best efforts to drag him directly into his lap. Roy opts for draping his arm around Jason’s shoulders instead.

Oliver heads back over to the recliner, shooing Lian out of it to sit on the floor as Dinah takes a seat on the arm of the chair. Oliver puts his hand on Dinah’s thigh, where it’s immediately covered by one of her own, and Jason feels himself thrown back in time to the days when his own parents acted like that, back before the divorce. He blinks when Roy squeezes his shoulder and then shakes his head. He offers his boyfriend a small smile before tipping his head to rest just slightly against Roy’s shoulder.

Oliver doesn’t even look at them, too focused on passing the gift bag to Lian, but Dinah shoots them a fond smile that makes Jason blush. He doesn’t pull away.

* * *

“Alright, kiddo,” Oliver says, and Roy lets his attention drift away from the feeling of Jason leaning against him to focus back on his daughter. “Go on, then.”

Lian grins, her eyes bright with excitement as she takes the present from her grandfather and sets it down in front of herself. She digs into it immediately, pulling out the tissue paper and tossing it onto the ground.

“A dolly,” she cheers brightly despite the fact that it’s hardly a surprise. “Does she talk like you promised?” She turns a little, looking up at Dinah and Oliver, and Dinah grins down at her.

“She sure does, sweetie,” Dinah confirms. “French _and_ English. Your Daddy can help you change it whenever you want.”

“Yay!” Lian hugs the box to her chest, but then something else must catch her attention. She squeals, nearly tossing the doll aside in order to delve back into the bag. Oliver catches the box before she actually lets go, at least, and sets it aside. Roy’s jaw drops as Lian lifts out what, at first glance, appears to be a giant bundle of light pink tulle.

 _Oh_ , he thinks, _you’ve got to be kidding me._

With the combined excitement and easy distraction of a girl her age, Lian moves on quickly from her newest discovery. At least she’s more gentle with the tutu than she was with the doll. Next to come out of the bag is a pair of soft ballet shoes. Roy wants to protest Oliver and Dinah wasting money on what he’s sure must be some high-end French brand when she’s only going to grow out of them in, like, six months tops. On the other hand, she’s nearly out of her current pair - that Roy _just bought_ , Jesus. Thank God for the secondhand resale and swap exchange the studio runs - and this means one less thing that Roy himself needs to come up with the money for.

And Lian’s excitement is infectious; Roy’s smile is barely forced at all when Lian looks over at him and beams.

“Daddy, Uncle Jay, look!” she shouts, holding the shoes up as reverently as a five-year-old can. “I can be a real ballerina now!”

“That’s great, pumpkin,” Roy says.

“Wow,” Jason pipes up, leaning forwards slightly to rest his elbows on his knees. It dislodges Roy’s arm, but he doesn’t protest. “Those are real nice, Lian. And your tutu is so pretty!”

Lian just smiles even wider, her head bobbing with energetic nods. “Yeah!” she agrees.

When Lian doesn’t say anything else and just starts to tug her socks off instead, Roy huffs. Damn. They really need to start working on her manners more seriously.

“Now,” he prompts, “what do we say to Nana and Grampy, Lian?”

“Oooops,” she replies, her eyes going a little wide before she scrambles to her feet and turns around. She flops herself onto Oliver, drawing a low grunt from the older man, and wraps her arms around him. “Thank you, Grampy!” she says. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Oliver’s grimace shifts into something fond almost immediately, and he bends forward to wrap his arms around her, lifting her into his lap to return the hug. “You’re welcome, sweetpea,” he tells her gently. He drops a kiss to the top of her head before he lets her go and gently turns her towards Dinah.

Dinah is a little more prepared, managing to brace herself in order to not topple off of the chair before the full force of Lian’s small body rams into her. She catches the girl with a laugh, hugging her close as Lian babbles out another round of ‘thank you’s that end with a, “can I wear them? Oh, please? Please, please, please?”

“You can wear the slippers,” Roy cuts in decisively. She’ll need to break them in, anyway, if she wants to start wearing them to her classes.

“Not the tutu?” Lian asks, pulling free from Dinah to pout at her father.

“Maybe after dinner,” he concedes, and she smiles brightly. “This isn’t a play skirt, honey. It’s for your classes and maybe your recitals only, okay?”

Lian sighs dramatically, but she finally gives a reluctant nod. “Okay, Daddy.”

Jason hums next to him. “You know,” he says, “I bet Alfred kept some of Auntie Cass’ old tutus. If you ask her really nicely, she’ll let you have one that you can wear whenever you want. How does that sound?”

Lian squeals again, and Roy winces and rubs his ear. She darts over to the couch.

“Inside voice, Li,” he chides, but he’s not sure she even hears him over the way she’s busy thanking Jason and giving him a big hug of his own. Roy’s expression softens at the sight of the stunned look on Jason’s face, and he reaches out to pat Jason’s thigh lightly.

“You’re very welcome, Lian,” he says, a little bit stilted as he hugs her back gently for a few seconds. “Why don’t you go try on your new slippers?”

“Yeah!” Lian lets him go and zips back over to where she’d left her new things scattered in front of Ollie’s armchair. Roy’s smile slips a little at the unimpressed, suspicious look his father is sending Jason’s way. Fortunately, he catches Roy looking and schools his expression before Jason notices.

Lian stands up once she has the ballet slippers on, doing a clumsy pirouette on the carpeted floor before bowing, and everyone claps and cheers. She blushes brightly, looking pleased, and Roy tries to push down his annoyance with Oliver.

“Good job,” Dinah praises. “You’ve been practicing huh, sweetheart?”

Lian nods and wanders over to Dinah, babbling about her classes, and Roy lets his attention drift for a few moments. Ollie gets up eventually, excusing himself to go check on dinner. Roy feels Jason slump against him almost immediately after, a shuddering breath escaping him, and he winds his arm around Jason’s shoulders and tucks him in closer.

Dinah draws them into an easy conversation after he leaves, asking Roy about work and about if they’ve done Lian’s school shopping yet. Lian cuts in to chatter excitedly about her new clothes and school supplies, and Roy hums, tossing in his own two cents as necessary.

Lian cuts off suddenly, jumping up from where she’d been climbing on Oliver’s chair. “Auntie Mia!” she cries, jumping down off the chair and running across the room.

Sure enough, when Roy looks over, he sees Mia in the doorway, bracing herself against the frame as Lian collides with her leg. She looks exhausted, but she still musters a smile and ruffles Lian’s hair.

“Hey, shortstack,” she hums. “Did you grow again?”

“Yeah!” Lian proclaims proudly. “A whole inch and a half!”

Mia whistles. “Wow, that’s a lot!”

Roy drops a kiss to Jason’s temple. “Hold on,” he murmurs before he stands up and crosses over to where his sister and daughter are standing. Mia’s hair is still damp from showering, but Roy doesn’t hesitate to drag her into a hug anyway. So what if it leaves a damp patch on the front of his shirt? It’ll dry.

“Hey, sis,” he greets, dropping a kiss to the top of her head before he pulls back.

“Good to see you, too, Roy,” she says, sounding a little groggy despite the wake-up shower.

“You workin’ backshift again?” Roy asks curiously. It’s that or she was out all night, if she slept in this late. If she’s seeing someone… Well, Roy wants to know. It’s his job as her oldest brother to scare the pants off the poor guy.

Mia hums and pets through Lian’s hair one more time before the little girl detaches herself. Lian makes her way back over to Dinah, who has successfully freed Lian’s new doll from all the plastic ties inside the box. “Yeah,” Mia says. “Quiet night, at least.”

“Good.”

It’s not that Roy doesn’t understand Mia’s motivations in becoming a 911 dispatcher, but, damn, he really doesn’t think he could do it. Sure, a lot of what she gets are minor medical emergencies and poorly-routed noise complaints, but the ones that are more serious… Roy shudders just thinking about some of the calls she’s talked about receiving.

But he’s proud of her, too. Proud that she’s found her own way to help, to do something good in the world.

He wonders, quite suddenly, what the call was like for Jason. He’d done his research after everything came out. He knows now that Jason’s bastard of an ex pushed him through a goddamn _window_ and then had the gall to meet him outside and _keep hitting him_ , and he knows that it was one of their neighbours who had called for EMS and the cops while her husband had to drag the bastard off of Jason.

But now isn’t the time to be thinking about that.

Roy holds out a hand to Jason, who takes it easily and lets Roy pull him up. Jason ducks his head shyly as he moves to Roy’s side, but then he forces himself to look up and offer a smile. “Mia,” Roy says, “this is Jason.”

Mia’s smile is warm, albeit tired, and she offers Jason a small wave.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi,” Jason replies. He hesitates a moment and then adds, “We’ve actually met before.”

Mia squints at him for a moment and then smacks a palm against her forehead. “Oh,” she says. “Wow, duh. I totally knew that.”

Roy raises a brow at that. He shouldn’t be surprised, though. Mia’s always been the most inclined to accompany Oliver to events when Dinah herself is unavailable.

“Well,” Mia says, “it’s good to see you again, then.” The thing is, she sounds sincere, too. Roy wonders if she’s thinking about the fact that maybe she _wouldn’t_ have seen him again, if only a few things had played out differently.

Jason seems to notice the sincerity, too, if the blush on his cheeks is any indication. Cute.

“Thanks,” he says finally. “You too.”

The sound of a car door slamming cuts off any further comment. Lian runs to the window and then makes a happy noise. She dashes away from the window and out into the hallway, gleefully calling out, "Uncle Connor and Uncle Kyle are here!"

"Should we…?" Jason asks, gesturing towards the hallway, but Roy shakes his head.

"Nah, Lian will herd them here anyway."

* * *

Sure enough, a few moments after the front door opens and closes, the new voices in the hall grow closer before Connor and Kyle step into the sitting room, Lian clinging to her uncle's side like a limpet.

Jason freezes, his eyes widening slightly, but he's quick to try and cover the response. He moves to approach the pair when Roy does and extends his hand, greeting both of the newcomers as Roy introduces them.

Not that Jason _needs_ an introduction to Kyle, but Roy doesn't know that. Jason tries to be subtle about it as he catches Kyle's gaze, eyebrow raising slightly in question; there's no surprise on the other man's face, which means he _knew_. He knew, and he let Jason walk into this situation blind.

And, well, he probably deserves that, but it still hurts.

There is just the slightest hint of guilt in Kyle's gaze as he meets Jason's eyes before quickly looking away and pressing himself closer into Connor's free side.

Jason wonders if Connor knows, too.

He jumps when Roy's hand settles at his lower back and then shakes his head as he forces a smile.

"Nice to meet you," he says, a bit belatedly, and the smile Connor gives him is warm, making Jason doubt that Kyle had enlightened him on their history. Or maybe he had, before, and Connor just hasn't put two and two together yet.

"You, too," he says as he hefts Lian up more steadily. "Roy's told us a lot about you."

Jason feels his cheeks heating up at that and darts another quick look at Kyle, though he seems determined not to look at Jason again.

"Good things, I hope," Jason jokes numbly. Roy chuckles and drops a kiss to his temple.

"Always," he promises, and Jason can feel his heart doing that stupid fluttery thing that it's been doing more and more often around Roy recently. 

"How've you been finding being State-side again?" Connor asks, and Jason fights against the anxiety building inside himself to answer.

"It's good," he says. "Different, especially living at home again. But…" He shrugs and then adds, "It's nice having so much family around, and meeting Roy is a pretty big plus."

"Me too!" Lian cuts in, and everyone chuckles at her exuberance.

"Yeah," Jason agrees, shooting the young girl a grin, "you're a pretty big plus, too, Lian."

Lian giggles, blushing as she tucks her face against Connor's neck, and Jason sneaks a look at Roy, his breath catching at the fond expression he's wearing. It does little to help the fluttering in his stomach.

"Kyle's spent some time over in Europe," Connor says, nudging his husband until he looks up. "Maybe you two can compare adventures."

The chuckle Kyle gives is weak to Jason's ears, the other man coming across far more awkwardly than he used to as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Wouldn't say I had many adventures," he argues. "I really just stuck to France."

"Thought you went to Italy?" Roy interrupts, and Jason meets Kyle's gaze briefly, both of them blushing when they look away.

Kyle _did_ go to Italy; Jason himself had taken him there on a whirlwind trip when Kyle had been able to get a few days off from his job doing tours at The Louvre. They'd gone to several of the Vatican Museums and had made love at sunset with the hotel suite's balcony doors opened to a stunning view.

After, Kyle had drawn him sleeping, naked but for the blanket across his ass, and it was the first time Jason had ever believed he could be _beautiful_.

(He wonders, now, if Kyle still has the drawing.)

* * *

Holy shit, this is awkward. So much more awkward than Kyle had anticipated - and he’d been _anticipating_ very, very awkward. Jason keeps trying to catch his attention with that stupid, wounded gaze, and it’s not _fair_. He shouldn’t get to be hurt.

Kyle feels bad even as he thinks it. The words just don’t ring as true as they would have a few months ago.

Fortunately, they’re spared any further awkwardness by Oliver calling down the hall that dinner is ready.

Connor puts Lian down, and Mia takes her hand as she walks by with Dinah. Roy leads Jason away, and Kyle moves to follow, but he stops when Connor says his name.

“Hm?” he asks, looking at his partner.

“Is everything okay?” Connor asks, his gaze sharp as it tracks over Kyle’s face.

Kyle looks away. He can justify not telling Jason, but he’s not sure he made the right choice in not telling Connor. This conversation would have been so much better held in the privacy of their own home. He looks at Connor again when he feels the other man’s hand on his arm.

“Do you remember that guy I told you about before?” he asks. “The one I dated when I was in France?”

Connor nods slowly. “Yes,” he confirms, and Kyle can’t tell if it’s hesitance or suspicion that he hears in Connor’s voice. Is he just being paranoid? Connor is smart - a genius, really - but is it obvious enough for him to put the clues together that quickly?

Kyle swallows hard.

“It was Jason,” he elaborates, his voice hushed just in case anyone is still in the hallway.

Connor blinks, surprise flickering over his face. “Oh,” he says.

Kyle lets out an anxious laugh. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Oh.”

“Do you want to go home?”

Kyle’s heart flutters. God, but he doesn’t deserve Connor. He shakes his head.

“No,” he says, “it’s okay. I mean, I knew what I was agreeing to.”

Connor grimaces. “Right.” He hesitates for a few seconds and then asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kyle sighs, rolling his eyes up to look at the ceiling. It’s definitely not to try and stave off tears.

“I guess I didn’t want to colour your opinion of him,” he admits. “It’s… obvious that there was more to the story than I knew. You shouldn’t be biased.”

Connor hums, his hand sliding down Kyle’s arm until he can take his hand and lace their fingers together. “You’re a good man, Kyle Rayner,” he says, and Kyle wishes with all his heart that that was true. But if he was a good man he wouldn’t still be pissed off at Jason for ditching him for a guy who tried to kill him - and God knows what else. Because that’s the kicker, isn’t it? Unless he _asks_ , Kyle’s never going to know what happened. If he was right all along about Jason getting wrapped up in some new, exciting partner, or if it was out of Jason’s control. If the bastard had been mistreating Jason from the start, cutting him off from his support system on purpose. Isolating him.

If he pushes away the anger and resentment and heartache that he’s carried over the past few years, if he lets him think about the Jason he remembers… It hurts so, so much to know he might have been sitting around feeling sorry for himself and hating Jason while Jason was busy being brutalised. Jason had been so sweet to him, both as a lover and as a friend. And even if it didn’t start badly, even if it really was Jason’s decision to cut Kyle out like he did… He still didn’t deserve what had happened to him.

“Hey,” Connor says, interrupting his thoughts. “I know that look, Ky, but I’m not wrong. You’re a good person, love. You’re allowed to still be upset. What happened to Jason… It doesn’t change the fact that he hurt you.”

Kyle lets out a shuddering breath and closes his eyes. He gives a short, jerky nod and takes another deeper breath before letting it out. He opens his eyes and forces a smile.

“We shouldn’t keep everyone waiting.”

Connor looks at him a moment longer and squeezes his hand again.

“Whenever you decide you want to leave,” he says, “just tell me. I’ll find the right excuse.”

Kyle’s smile turns a little more genuine, and he leans forward, dropping a kiss to Connor’s cheek.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re enjoying this so far! I’m really excited to be getting back into this verse, though I will be upfront that I have a lot of wips and other projects on the go for this year, too. This specific fic, at least, will be up in its entirety before long. Chapter 2 is finished, and chapter 3 is nearly there. But the next major installments are the trial and the Big Backstory Reveal, which means they’re going to take a lot of attention and detail. Hopefully, in the interim, I’ll be able to wrap up the Batfam 6+1 I started forever ago.
> 
> To those of you who’ve only recently stumbled across this series: welcome! And to those of you who are coming back after being abandoned for so long: thank you so, so much for giving me another chance ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told y’all it wouldn’t be long! ~~i know, i know, that often doesn’t mean much coming from me. whoops.~~ big thanks to everyone who has already commented or left kudos/bookmarks ♥ you make me so happy ;;
> 
> full disclosure; i wanted to get this posted today, but then i got wrapped up in a really long phone call before being immediately drawn into hanging out with my roommates, so... i do not have the Brain for a final review right now. i will read through this chapter in the morning to catch any last errors. hopefully there's nothing too glaring!
> 
> enjoy ♥

It takes Roy a second to realise that Kyle and Connor haven’t followed them. He’s too busy getting Lian settled onto her booster seat and helping Ollie ladle up a bowl of spaghetti for her. To her grandfather’s eternal dismay, she’s not a fan of his signature chili, though Ollie insists that her tastes will change when she gets older. Roy has to admit it’s kind of funny how much she whines and complains when he tells her she won’t be a real Queen unless she learns to handle spice.

Dinah has gotten Jason settled in next to where she’ll be sitting at the end of the table, across from Ollie’s spot at the head. There’s a seat between Jason’s and Lian’s that Roy claims for himself after he sets his daughter’s dinner down for her. Mia settles in across from Lian at Ollie’s other side, but the two seats next to her remain empty. Roy cocks his head, brow furrowing, but before he can open his mouth to say anything, the missing guests appear. Connor’s gaze sweeps over the table almost too quickly for Roy to really process, and then his brother settles in across from Jason and next to Dinah, allowing Kyle to take the spot across from Roy himself.

Jason’s hand twitches on the table cloth as he reaches out to straighten his silverware. It’s probably because Oliver walks past him at that moment.

“So, Jason,” Connor says. Jason’s head snaps up so fast he’s at risk of giving himself whiplash, his hands falling back into his lap as if he’s been caught touching something he shouldn’t. Roy reaches out as subtly as he can and takes one of Jason’s hands, lets his thumb soothe back and forth over his boyfriend’s skin. Connor, bless his soul, carries on as if nothing has happened. “Roy says you studied English Literature. Do you have a preferred era?”

Roy turns his gaze forward to land on Kyle, and he finds himself frowning slightly. There’s a slightly pinched look around Kyle’s eyes. It looks a little too much like a look of disapproval for Roy’s liking. He tries to catch Kyle’s eye, to maybe try and subtly ask what his problem is, but Kyle’s pretty resolutely not looking his way.

“My Masters is in the 18th Century through to Romanticism,” Jason replies shyly from next to him, and Roy lets his attention be pulled back to his boyfriend. Connor makes a soft, encouraging noise, and Jason continues. “I’m a big fan of Austen and her works, but I’ve always found Shelley and co. _fascinating_.” He shrugs. “This era let me study both.”

“Shelley?” Mia pipes up, suddenly interested. “Like Mary Shelley?”

Something sparks in Jason’s eyes, and Roy has to hold back the lovesick sigh that wants to escape him. Most of it goes right over his head, but he could listen to and watch Jason talking about literature all day long. Seeing his passion exposed like that… It’s really something.

“Yes,” Jason confirms, one hand pulling free of Roy’s so that he can bring it up to gesture idly. “Mary and Percy Bysshe Shelley - her husband. But, ah, well. I meant Lord Byron, too. And Keats. The Shelleys, they were, ah, poly. It’s all a bit convoluted to get into, but--” Jason ducks his head, like he’s just realised that he’s started rambling “--um. Yeah.”

“Cool,” Mia grins. “So this Percy dude is Heart-in-The-Desk Guy, then?”

Jason laughs at that, his cheeks pinking a little as he pulls himself together. Everyone’s attention seems to be on him, then, and it only makes Jason blush deeper. Roy’s not sure if he likes the soft look in Kyle’s eyes any better than the harder look it replaced. He likes it even less when Jason looks up at Kyle for a few seconds before promptly looking away and clearing his throat.

“Yeah,” Jason says finally, “that’s him.”

“I’m not sure that’s appropriate for the dinner table,” Oliver interrupts as he squeezes in between Lian and Roy to set a huge pot at the centre of the table, “or for little ears.” Roy rolls his eyes, squeezing the hand he’s still holding onto as Jason lets the other drop. Jason’s shoulders slump.

“Sorry,” he half-whispers. Dinah tuts gently and Roy could kiss her.

“Like you haven’t said worse,” she chides, “with all your talk of hunting and preparing game.”

Oliver scoffs, but he doesn’t defend himself as he takes his seat at the head of the table.

Roy and Kyle have easiest access to the pot, and they take turns ladling out bowls of chili for the adults and sending them around the table while Mia passes around a bowl of dinner rolls. Connor passes the pitcher of sweet tea around in the opposite direction after pouring a glass each for himself and Kyle. When everyone has been served, Jason looks over at Roy questioningly, but Roy just shakes his head.

“Nah,” he murmurs, “we don’t bother with grace except on holidays.”

Jason nods slowly and reaches for his spoon.

“It smells devine, Sir,” he says, clearly forcing himself to look down the table at Ollie when he speaks. To his credit, the older man does quirk a pleased smile at that.

“Tuck in, kid,” he mutters, eyes not leaving Jason even when Jason turns back to his dinner. There’s a glint in his eyes that makes Roy’s own roll as he takes his first bite. It tastes as good as it always does, with enough spice to make your eyes sting to round it out. Oliver’s convinced that most people can’t actually handle it, and he’s probably not wrong.

Roy still gets a chuckle out of it every time the story of the first time his “Uncle” Hal tried it comes up.

His gaze cuts over to Jason, trying to be subtle about it, and he smirks when he sees the way Jason’s eyes light up again at the burst of flavour. Roy looks away as Jason goes back for another spoonful and sends a smug look towards Oliver who is, predictably, sulking a little. He grumbles when he catches Roy looking and turns to his own meal.

“Damn,” Mia comments, “you took that like a champ.”

Jason looks over at her in confusion, his brow creased so very adorably. “Hm?”

“A lot of our guests accuse Dad of trying to kill them,” Connor explains, then hurries to add, “with the spices, that is.”

“Oh.” Jason looks down at his bowl and then back up again. Then he giggles. “No, this is. This is great. If you think this is spicy, you should try my Mum’s gan guo sometime.” 

Oliver hums.

“I heard that Talia is Stateside now,” Dinah says, stealing Jason’s attention away. “I bet you’re enjoying having her around right now.”

“Yeah,” Jason agrees with a smirk. “I love Alfred to death, but he thinks salt and pepper are sufficient cooking spices.”

“Is that where Wayne gets it from?” Oliver cuts in, his lips curled into a smirk. Jason shoots him a nervous, if a bit conspiratorial, grin.

“‘fraid so,” he says. “I’m convinced he’d never tried anything spicier than barbeque sauce before he and my mother got together. Fortunately, Dames inherited mum’s tastes.”

Quiet settles over them for a few minutes, breaking only when Lian shrieks because she’s spilled a scoop of pasta onto her lap. Roy’s so, so glad he had the foresight to ban her from wearing her new tutu. He sighs, rolling his eyes, and gets up to go get a cloth.

“Really, princess?” he asks when he returns, and Lian just pouts up at him until he drops a kiss onto her forehead.

“Sorry, Daddy,” she mumbles as he wipes up the mess. He keeps the cloth with him as he sits back down, just in case.

“It’s alright, honey,” he concedes. “Just try to be more careful.”

She nods very seriously, staring at her fork as she scoops up some more spaghetti. Roy chuckles and ruffles her hair before he goes back to his own dinner. His brow raises slightly when he catches Jason staring across the table at Kyle, his brows pulled together slightly and his lips turned down. Kyle’s avoidance of his gaze looks a little too intentional to be natural.

It’s _weird_. Come to think of it, Kyle’s been acting weird ever since he and Connor arrived.

Roy keeps half his attention on Kyle as he resumes eating. Beside them, Connor draws Jason into conversation again, asking after his Austen preferences, but Roy tunes them out. Kyle only looks up when Jason is distracted enough by Connor and now Dinah, but he doesn’t seem to notice that he’s being watched himself.

His expression almost seems like it’s at war with itself, alternating between something akin to contempt and something softer, almost wistful. His expression twists as Jason rambles on about _Pride and Prejudice_ , turning sad. Roy blinks. His gaze shifts, just slightly, to see Jason cast a look towards Kyle, though he immediately looks away and hunches in on himself when he catches Kyle already watching him.

_Oh_ , Roy thinks. Somehow, someway, Kyle and Jason already know each other. But why should that be so _awkward_? Unless…

No, that’s stupid.

Isn't it?

* * *

Jason can’t tell if dinner is going better or worse than he’d been expecting. Somehow, it feels a little bit like both. He can tell that Oliver still isn’t sold on him, but Dinah, Connor, and Mia all seem genuine enough in their interest in him. At the very least, they’ve been making the effort to actually engage with him, though Mia’s attention starts to lapse eventually by virtue of the seating arrangement. Jason appreciates the effort, he really does, even if the attention is a little overwhelming. It’s making him talk too much, he’s sure of it, and he feels bad for being so rude. Except… those three don’t seem to mind. In fact, if he’s quiet for too long, either Dinah or Connor always seems to jump in to prompt him into saying something else.

It’s the complete opposite of the times Max took Jason to meet his parents or hang out with his friends. Oliver’s not-so-subtle admonishment earlier had been much more familiar.

But then there’s Kyle, who is an added complication that Jason didn’t even know he needed to plan for. It doesn’t help how much Kyle is avoiding him, engaging with Oliver and Mia and even Lian more than the rest of them - even Connor, his _husband_. And, fuck, that’s so weird to think about. Jason’s not surprised, per se. Kyle wears his heart on his sleeve more than anyone else Jason knows, and it’s been years. It makes sense that Kyle dove in head-first when someone else moved in on him. Or, well. However it happened.

Anyway. That doesn’t matter. It _shouldn’t_ matter, at least.

Roy’s about the only one trying to flit between the conversations at both ends of the table, the only one really making any attempts to draw everyone together. Jason feels guilt settle low in his gut, knows he should be trying harder to bridge the gap so Roy isn’t the only one doing it. But he just can’t. Every time he does try, either Kyle or Oliver or both turn their attention to him in a way that makes Jason’s skin crawl, makes him want to curl in on himself and never look up again.

He can practically feel what he has with Roy slipping away. There’s no way Roy will want to deal with this awkwardness long-term, and why would he ever choose some guy he met less than two months ago over his family? Maybe, if Jason’s lucky, Roy will be kind enough to wait until after the trial is finished to let him down gently.

His attention starts to wander as dinner winds down, too much of his focus going into making sure there’s air moving in his lungs as he tries not to let his panic show too clearly. He was so stupid, thinking he could have something good for once. He never should have let Roy get close, never should have let _himself_ get invested. He should have known it could only ever end poorly.

Jason jumps when someone touches his shoulder. He looks around suddenly, surprised to find himself sitting alone at the table with only Roy still there next to him.

“Hey,” Roy says gently, his hand moving to the side of Jason’s neck. His thumb brushes lightly along the jut of Jason’s jaw. “You okay?”

Jason closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

“Yeah,” he mumbles when he opens them again, though he keeps his gaze fixed on the tabletop. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Roy says easily, and Jason almost believes him. Too bad he knows better. He’s supposed to keep his mouth shut, but he’s still supposed to _pay attention_ , and Jason failed at both instructions. “It’s okay,” Roy repeats, like he can tell that Jason is unconvinced. “We can be a pretty overwhelming bunch. Look at me?”

Jason takes another deep breath before he turns his head to do as he was told. Roy’s expression is one of concern, not anger, and it makes Jason’s brow furrow. Roy’s thumb moves to brush over Jason’s bottom lip, and Jason shivers.

“Whatever you’re worried about,” Roy says firmly, “I promise you, it’s not real.”

If only that were true.

Jason’s silence makes sadness pool in Roy’s eyes, and Jason looks away again, feeling guilty. After a moment, Roy stands. Jason tries to hide his flinch, and if Roy notices it, he at least doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he puts his arms up to stretch and then holds a hand out to Jason.

“C’mon,” he says, “I never got to give you a tour, and Lian’s busy showing off her sweet dance moves to her captive audience.”

Jason manages a small, half-hearted smile at that, and lets Roy take his hand and help him to his feet.

It’s pretty obvious that the whole thing is just a ploy to get a little time alone. Not that the mansion isn’t breathtaking, but. Well. It’s not like Jason’s going to be particularly impressed by the opulence. And, yet, Jason still finds himself surprised when they eventually reach Roy’s childhood bedroom. Roy opens the door to let him in, and Jason goes quietly, unprotesting.

At least Roy has the decency to leave the door open a crack, not that Jason intends to try and leave. It’s a sign that this won’t be anything too harsh, at least, and Jason lets himself take comfort in that.

“So,” Roy says, and Jason feels his muscles starting to lock up with tension, “how do you know Kyle?”

* * *

The words leave Roy’s mouth, and every line in Jason’s body seems to go tense as he stills, trapped under Roy’s gaze. He looks hunted. It makes Roy feel a little sick. He does his best to keep his own posture open and relaxed as he looks at Jason, hopes he’s giving off patient vibes and not anxious, mad, or demanding ones.

Jason winces and starts to take a step back before he catches himself.

“I-” he starts, and there’s a wild look in his eyes that makes Roy think of a cornered animal. It sets anxiety buzzing through him, his mind sticking once more on the thought he’d had over dinner: _is Jason interested in Kyle?_

“We dated,” Jason finally blurts out, immediately flinching backwards and snapping his mouth shut. Roy can’t help staring at him, stunned. Despite his previous thought, the possibility that it was a _past_ interest hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“ _You_ dated _Kyle_?” he asks, feeling the words out as he says them. It had to have been a while ago, but Roy can’t recall Kyle ever mentioning having spent time in Gotham. Or, well. Maybe their paths crossed in Europe after all. Regardless of the when or the how, it’s obviously the truth; Jason wouldn’t lie to him like this. He doesn’t know why he bothered asking. Jason nods nonetheless, his gaze fixed on the ground, and Roy takes a moment to actually _look_ at him. He’s shaking like a leaf, and Roy can’t for the life of him understand why. Is there something else he’s not saying?

Like, that he’s not actually over Kyle or something?

“It was a long time ago,” Jason whispers, a pleading note to his voice, and Roy frowns. “It- It’s been over for years.”

It hits him, suddenly, and Roy curses himself out in his mind for taking so long to figure it out.

“Jay,” he says hurriedly, “it’s alright. Hey, it’s fine. Remember, I told you I’d never control who you talk to, okay? I trust you.”

It feels cheap, when he’d just been worrying about Jason leaving him, but it’s- It’s not the same. It wasn’t about trust, not really; it was about his own damn insecurities cropping up at the smallest hint of trouble.

He clears his throat and then adds, “I sure as shit don’t get to be pissed off that you’ve dated people before, either, okay?” Jason doesn’t really look convinced, but Roy presses onwards nonetheless. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Jason gives a small nod of understanding even as he crosses his arms over his chest and tries to make himself smaller.

“Jay,” Roy says after a few seconds pass in silence, “is that… Is that all?”

Jason blinks up at him with those gorgeous doe eyes, confusion writ across his face, and Roy can’t help reaching out to touch him, his hand cradling Jason’s cheek.

“You seemed uncomfortable, that’s all,” he explains, and Jason frowns. “Maybe it was just from trying to keep the secret, but I just… I want to make sure it isn’t going to be a problem. Connor’s partner or not, if Kyle is someone you don’t want to be around...”

"No!" Jason exclaims, eyes wide, and something settles in Roy's chest as he continues. "No, Kyle wasn’t- He didn’t- He was _wonderful_. He was good to me. Better than I deserved, probably."

Roy frowns at that, because he finds it very hard to believe. Then again, he’s probably biased, because he believes that Jason deserves every good thing there is in the world.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Can you explain to me why you look so uncomfortable around each other, then?”

Because. Because he doesn’t think it could only be about trying to keep it a secret, the more he thinks about it. Not when Kyle’s expressions had held so much negativity most of the time.

Jason bites his lip, and when he pulls away, Roy lets him go.

“It was two summers before I met Max,” he explains, embarrassment seeping into his tone as he paces across the room. “Mum sent me to France for a vacation to ‘get my head on straight’ after I slept with Slade. I met Kyle almost right away, because of course the Louvre was one of the first places I went. He was working there. You probably know that.” Jason sighs and shakes his head.

“Anyway,” he says. “We hit it off, it got intense, you know the drill. You have to understand, this was before I met Max,” Jason says, almost frantically as he turns to look at Roy again. “I was a lot… looser, back then. Less... guarded.” His face scrunches up a little, and his words don’t really sound like his own when he adds, “I was kind of a slut.”

Roy bites his tongue, forcing himself not to interrupt. There’s anger there, but not at Jason. It’s aimed entirely at whoever convinced Jason that being a little more free with his heart and body was somehow a terrible thing. He can guess easily enough who, exactly, shoulders that blame.

He doesn’t particularly want all the finer details, either. At least, Roy doesn’t think he does, but a part of him still feels like he should be asking for them. There’s a tinge of shame in Jason’s voice, has been since even before the slut comment, and it’s setting Roy on edge. He wants to reach out and comfort his boyfriend, but he’s not sure that it would be welcome right now. He’s trying to be good about giving Jason his space when he physically pulls away like he just did.

"Then the summer ended, and I went back to Oxford," Jason finally says. He shrugs and wraps his arms around himself. "We stayed in touch, at first. Not exactly a long-distance relationship, but I think we both thought it was something we’d revisit when school was done. But…" Jason trails off, shaking his head as he hugs himself tighter.

"But?" Roy prompts.

"But then I met Max at the end of the next summer," Jason mumbles, shame tinting his cheeks pink as he stares at the floor. "You- You know he didn't like me talking to other people, especially my exes."

Roy watches Jason for a moment, letting his brain connect the dots for him.

"You ghosted him," he fills in eventually, his heart sinking, "and now you assume he's pissed at you."

Which, in Jason’s mind, probably translates to an expectation of violence. As if Roy would let anyone lay a hand on him on his watch, not that Kyle would even try. Not that he’d even _want_ to try.

"Wouldn't you be?"

Roy hesitates, because, the thing is, he won't lie to Jason; he _would_ be pissed, without knowing what was going on. But, now, after knowing… It paints an entirely different picture, and Roy can't imagine that Kyle doesn't know. Just because Roy had missed the entire scandal - loath as he is to call it that - it doesn't mean that someone who had actually _known_ Jason beforehand wouldn't have paid attention when it all came out. 

Jason takes his silence as confirmation, and he draws in on himself even more. It makes Roy’s heart ache, and he can’t seem to stop himself as he reaches out to the younger man, pulling him into his arms even as Jason flinches. He relaxes into him after a few moments, though, his arms unwinding to loop around Roy’s waist instead.

“It’ll blow over,” Roy murmurs and brushes a kiss over Jason’s temple. “You’ll see.”

Jason hums noncommittally, and Roy can just _tell_ that he’s still holding something back. He wonders if he should press, but he’s starting to learn that, sometimes, Jason will speak on his own, when he’s ready.

It takes a few minutes, and, when he speaks, his voice is muffled by Roy’s chest.

“What if he thinks I deserved it?” he asks, and Roy frowns as he hugs Jason a little closer. “What if he thinks I’m pathetic, for letting it happen?”

“Then fuck him,” Roy growls, fire burning in his gut even as he takes a breath and reminds himself that this is _Kyle_ they’re talking about. He’s not even going to try to tackle the ‘letting it happen’ issue right now, but he does make a mental note of it. “But, Jay," he says, "baby, does that really sound like the Kyle you remember? Because it isn’t the guy I know.”

Jason lets out a shaky breath, trembling when Roy’s hand strokes up and down his back slowly; finally, he shakes his head.

“No,” he admits, “it doesn’t.”

* * *

Kyle hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, he really hadn’t. But he’d gone to the bathroom, hoping, in fact, _not_ to run into Jason and Roy, and on his way back, he’d passed Roy’s bedroom and caught the sound of his own name.

He’s only human, okay? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know what’s being said about him behind his back.

_It was a long time ago,_ Jason whispers. He sounds… desperate. _It- It’s been over for years._

Obviously it's been over for years. Kyle's been here with Connor for most of them. Roy knows that. Surely Jason knows that Roy knows that. So why bother bringing it up?

_Jay,_ Roy says hurriedly, _it’s alright. Hey, it’s fine. Remember, I told you I’d never control who you talk to, okay? I trust you. I sure as shit don’t get to be pissed off that you’ve dated people before, either._

Oh.

Right. 

Well, at least that's a tick in the 'maybe cutting him off wasn't Jason's call' column.

Kyle winces at Roy's admission that he noticed the awkwardness between them. The accusation that follows burns, but Kyle tries not to be offended. Jason's immediate defense of him helps with that, although the self-deprecation it includes makes him frown. The Jason he knew would never have spoken like that.

And it just keeps going. Kyle's fists clench at his sides.

_I was kind of a slut._

_No you weren't_ , he wants to say. They were practically still kids, young and in love with all the right hormones to match. It was normal. _Natural_.

He's pretty sure that Jason didn't see anyone between himself and _Max_ , either. How does that make him a slut?

_\--met Max at the end of the next summer. You- You know he didn't like me talking to other people, especially my exes._

Right. Because of course. Of course that bastard would have convinced Jason that he was just some stupid slut who couldn't be trusted to talk to other people without rolling over for them. Jesus Christ.

He'd really done a number on Jason, huh?

So why didn't knowing that make Kyle's anger go away?

_You assume he's pissed at you._

_Wouldn't you be?_

Kyle winces. Guilt settles low in his gut, making him feel a little sick. Jason sounds so defeated. More than that, he sounds _scared_.

He probably shouldn't be listening to this. But right as he finally forces himself to move, to turn away, he catches something he really, really wishes he hadn't and freezes.

_What if he thinks I deserved it?_

No. No. Just--

No. How could Jason ever think that?

_What if he thinks I’m pathetic, for letting it happen?_

Kyle shuts his eyes against the threat of tears. _Oh, Jase._

He’s been pissed at Jason for a long time, he won’t try to deny that. But not once had he wished physical harm to Jason in retribution, and after the news came out…

Kyle shudders. He can still remember the way he felt when that first article was released. Can still remember the agony he had felt when he saw that image of bloodied, broken glass on the ground and the words _al-Ghul Heir Hospitalized After Domestic Altercation_ splashed across _The Sun_ 's front page. Thinking that Jason somehow deserved it or that he was weak for getting into a situation like that… It hadn't been so much as a passing thought.

Didn't Jason know him better than that?

Maybe that's unfair. It probably isn't personal. Maybe that's just how Jason fears everyone feels now. The weight of that constant doubt must be exhausting.

_Does that really sound like the Kyle you remember? Because it isn’t the guy I know._

Kyle lets out a quiet breath. It shouldn't matter so much, but hearing Roy speak up in his support eases some of the offence still pickling at him. He forces himself to walk away, then, just the faintest smile curling at his lips when he hears the guarded hope in Jason's voice as he says, _no, it doesn’t._

His smile slips a moment later, though, and a small wave of resentment crashes over him. It's aimed, at least partially, at himself, because even after everything he's just overheard, there's still a part of Kyle that's angry at Jason, and he thinks he might hate himself a little for it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, so, i was going to wait and post this tomorrow, originally, but i recently went back looking and realised that today marks exactly one year since i first started writing this fic. which is, well. kind of insane. the vast majority of it was written over the past week or two, but. yeah, wow, can’t believe it took me a whole _year_ to stop picking at it and being wishy-washy and actually write it.
> 
> anyway, here’s the conclusion to all the drama! hope you enjoy it ♥

Kyle knows he needs to talk to Jason before the night’s through. There’s too much hurt left unsaid, and Kyle is aware that the way he’s clinging onto it is causing unnecessary stress for Jason. It’s not exactly well hidden, now that Kyle is really looking. He assumes everyone else is just being insanely tactful by not addressing the fact that Jason looks like he’s a few words away from shaking apart. Even Oliver is being less overt about his disapproval after Jason and Roy return to join them all in the sitting room.

Of course, aside from Connor and Roy, they probably don’t realise it has anything to do with Kyle. Jason’s abuse is like the elephant in the room, and Kyle can’t help wondering if it’s always like this. If Jason’s just constantly surrounded by people, knowing that they all know, wondering if they’re all judging him or pitying him.

Jason hates pity.

Or, at least, he did. Kyle doesn’t really know what he hates anymore.

It rings as a little odd to Kyle when Oliver eventually addresses Jason directly for the first time since they returned.

“So, Jason,” Oliver says, and Kyle tries to ignore the way that Jason snaps to attention. But, God, it’s just so _obvious_. “Is Talia going to be in Gotham much longer?” Roy’s eyes narrow at the question.

Curious.

“Oh, ah,” Jason starts, reaching up to scratch the side of his neck, “not much longer, actually. She was supposed to go back last week, after Damian went off to college.”

Oliver hums, sounding thoughtful, but there’s something sharp in his eyes.

“What changed her mind?”

Jason bites his lip and looks down, his shoulders shaking as he takes a breath. Roy takes Jason’s hand and squeezes it, and Kyle wonders what’s going on. It just doesn’t seem like a normal reaction.

“Jason’s going back to England in a few days,” Roy says eventually, and Kyle feels his eyes widen in surprise. Why the Hell would he do a thing like that? “Talia figured it made sense for everyone to travel together.”

“Everyone?” Oliver again. Dinah reaches out to touch his arm, something like a warning in her eyes, but Oliver ignores it. “I didn’t realise anyone else had accompanied her.”

Something tells Kyle that Oliver’s not talking about her security detail (he’d recognized Slade in those photos of Roy and Jason, okay. He isn’t stupid).

“I wasn’t talking about Ra’s,” Roy says, and it sounds like he’s fighting to keep his tone even. Oliver looks a little surprised to be called out so directly in front of everyone nonetheless. Kyle feels a headache coming on. Fortunately, Lian is preoccupied playing a game of go fish with Mia on the other side of the room.

Jason takes a sharp breath and when he looks up to meet Oliver’s gaze, he looks almost… angry. It shouldn’t be half as comforting as Kyle finds it.

 _He’s still in there_ , he thinks.

“My parents, Tim, and I are going there for the trial,” Jason says steadily - almost coolly. “And, yes, my grandfather will be joining us at my mother’s estate. He’s been vital in liaising with the Crown while I’ve been gone.”

_Oh shit._

God, of course there would be a trial. Of course Jason would be called to testify; he’s going to be the star witness.

“Excuse me,” Jason adds as he stands up.

“Of course, dear,” Dinah says softly, a little sadly. Jason gives her a polite nod before he turns and leaves the room. How he manages to make fleeing look calm, Kyle has no idea.

“Really nice, Ollie,” Roy snaps as he, too, stands up. He follows Jason out without another word.

Kyle wishes he knew what to say. The tension and awkwardness in the room are palpable. Stifling.

“Okay,” Connor says finally. He sounds as calm as ever, but there’s a hint of disapproval in his voice, too. “I don’t know what that was about, Dad, but I think it was a little unnecessary.”

Oliver sighs and rubs at his forehead. Mutters something about the al Ghuls and how they’ve always brought nothing but trouble, and Kyle frowns. That’s an unfair assessment, as far as he’s concerned. He’d never had the opportunity to meet Jason’s family, but Jason always spoke so highly of them. So proudly.

Then again…

Well, that article about Jason isn’t the first time he’s seen the family’s name in a paper like _The Sun_. Maybe, just maybe, he can see what’s got Oliver acting so strange.

* * *

Thank God for Lian, honestly. She looks up from her card game eventually and frowns. Dinah is quick to distract her when she starts asking where her Daddy and “Uncle Jay” went. As everyone else jumps on board to keep her occupied, Kyle has the cover he needs to turn to Connor.

“Connor,” he says quietly, and he must look pretty torn-up or something, because Connor’s eyes go a little sad when he looks at him. He leans in and brushes his nose against Kyle’s and then pulls back.

“Go on, love,” he says. “I know it’s killing you not to follow.”

Kyle sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Is he really so transparent?

Connor takes his hand and squeezes it. “It’s okay.” He lets go and nods towards the hallway. “I think I heard the patio door a few minutes ago.”

Kyle manages a small smile at that. “Yeah,” he agrees. “He’s always been a stress-smoker.”

Connor hums, and Kyle leans in to kiss him gently before he stands. Somehow, he manages to slip out of the room unnoticed.

Kyle makes his way to the kitchen and then hesitates in the doorway that leads to the patio for a long moment, watching. Jason’s hand is shaking, at risk of dropping the cigarette caught between his fingers as he raises it to his lips for another drag. Even from the side profile that Kyle can see, Roy looks worried, pained. Kyle knows that it's all a little bit his fault.

He’d told himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong in not reaching out to Jason ahead of today. Jason’s number had changed years ago - Kyle wonders now more than ever if that was even by choice - but, even if it hadn’t, Kyle’s sure it would have again by now. He’d told himself he couldn’t warn Jason even if he’d really, really wanted to.

It's a flimsy excuse when Jason is a public figure with several social media accounts. Kyle doesn’t follow any of them anymore, but they’re not difficult to find. He could have tried harder. A not insignificant part of him wanted to see Jason’s reaction first hand, though. Even now, with reason to suspect the real reason for Jason’s sudden departure from his life, Kyle can’t fully let go of the hurt he’d felt back then. He’d wanted to see for himself if Jason was carrying any guilt over shutting him out. Over breaking his heart.

He’d wanted to watch Jason squirm, wanted to see if he’d come clean. Or if he wouldn’t.

Part of him wanted to feel vindicated for the grief he’d gone through. He wanted to see Jason try to push it under the rug, to prove he’d never cared at all.

He should have known better.

Guilt sits like a stone in his gut. Jason has been through hell over the past four years, and Kyle is playing mind games for his own selfish desires.

It needs to end.

Kyle shifts, clearing his throat. Jason’s head snaps up, and his eyes widen with panic when he sees Kyle. Roy shifts restlessly, edging closer to Jason and placing a hand on his lower back. Kyle tries not to be offended.

“Mind if I cut in for a moment?”

Jason flinches. It’s nearly imperceptible, but Kyle’s looking at him too closely to miss it. It makes him feel a little sick, but he tries to push that down. Tries to force a smile that he hopes is at least mildly reassuring.

“Kyle,” Roy says, too hesitant to be a greeting. He looks at Jason again, frowning softly. “Jay? Do you want me to stay?”

Annoyance flares in Kyle’s chest, but he breathes through it. He doesn’t need a babysitter, and they certainly don’t need a third-party listening in on the conversation that needs to be had. Especially when that third-party is Jason’s new boyfriend. Kyle’s sure his expression must be unimpressed, but he turns to look at Jason, waiting to see what he has to say about everything.

The annoyance drains out of him immediately and his expression falls. It’s like a slap to the face, seeing Jason like this. Jason had always dealt with anxiety when Kyle knew him, even though he’d hidden it well behind false bravado and a mask of cool confidence, but that anxiety pales in comparison to what Kyle sees now. Jason doesn’t look awkward or hesitant at the prospect of this chat like Kyle might have expected. No, he looks downright terrified.

He remembers, suddenly, the trembling fear he’d heard in Jason’s voice earlier when Jason was telling Roy about their past. If Jason can be that afraid of upsetting Roy, his boyfriend who wouldn’t hurt a fly unless it was to protect someone, then of course he’s going to be afraid of the ex he suspects to be angry at him.

Kyle sighs softly as his shoulders slump.

“Jase,” he says quietly. _Mildly._ Jason flinches anyway.

“Don’t call him that,” Roy snaps, and Kyle bristles. There’s a retort on the tip of his tongue, a protest that he’ll call Jason whatever he wants to. He’s grateful that clarity hits him before he does. Roy isn’t the sort to be domineering. Kyle’s never seen him in a relationship before, but he doubts Roy’s the kind to get possessive and overbearing. If he’s being short with Kyle over something as simple as a nickname, there’s a reason.

Kyle can figure out easily enough what that reason probably is.

“Jason,” he corrects, “I just want to talk.” He hesitates, but ultimately, Kyle swallows his pride. “If you want Roy to stay, that’s okay.”

He fights to keep his body language loose and open, to keep his face impassive, as Roy leans in and whispers something too quiet for Kyle to hear. Jason closes his eyes and takes a few slow breaths. When he opens them again, the fear isn’t completely gone, but it does seem more contained.

“It’s okay,” Jason says, his voice rasping slightly. “You don’t have to stay.”

Roy looks at Jason a moment longer before he nods. He leans in and brushes a kiss over Jason’s temple.

“I’ll be just inside, okay?” he says, and he waits for Jason’s nod of understanding before he steps away. He pauses when he goes to walk past Kyle, his gaze burning with protective anger that makes Kyle’s stomach swoop and his mouth go dry. Neither of them says anything, but after a few tense seconds, Kyle dips his head in concession. Roy makes a noise in the back of his throat, gives a short nod, and then walks through the doorway. He slides the glass door over, leaving it open just a crack.

Kyle tells himself it’s not really about him. Reminds himself of Roy’s words earlier, about how Jason’s fears didn’t align with the person he knows Kyle to be. Roy has every right to be feeling overprotective right now, really. Given a little time to adjust, Kyle’s sure he’ll be relieved to know that Jason has someone like Roy on his side.

Silence falls over them, interrupted only by the soft trill of cicadas. Jason stubs out his cigarette and then fiddles absently with the pack.

Finally, Kyle steps further onto the patio, ignoring the way that Jason tenses up at his approach. Kyle walks past him to lean against the railing and sighs, looking out over the yard. He opens his mouth to speak, but Jason beats him to it.

“I’m sorry,” Jason says. His words are quiet, but they travel through the stillness of the night easily enough. “Kyle, I’m sorry.”

Kyle pointedly doesn’t look at him, hoping that the lack of direct attention will help Jason stay calm.

He’s wanted this apology for so long. It’s almost disappointing how it makes him feel worse instead of better.

 _You know he didn't like me talking to other people_ , he hears Jason say in his mind.

He wonders if it would have been worse if Jason had told him he didn’t want to talk to him anymore rather than ghosting him the way he had. The new boyfriend connection hadn’t been hard to make, either way. Kyle just wishes he could have known that there was more at play than just Jason moving on to someone closer. Someone better. Someone who came from the kind of life that Jason had been adopted into.

He wonders, too, what that bastard would have done to Jason if he’d caught him talking to Kyle, even if it had just been to end things properly.

Kyle doesn’t doubt that Jason means his apology. But, hearing it now, after four years, he lets himself doubt that Jason should be apologizing at all. Can Kyle really fault him for doing what he needed to do to protect himself?

“It’s not your fault,” he finds himself saying, surprising himself a little. He’s not sure if the noise Jason makes is from surprise or protest. Kyle closes his eyes.

“You really hurt me, Jase- son. Jason.”

Fuck. That’s going to take some getting used to, but if it’s for the reason he thinks, if it’s what that asshole used to call Jason, Kyle knows he has to try.

“I know,” Jason whispers.

“I’m so frustrated that I just feel guilty, now, for being angry,” Kyle continues. “You broke my heart, Jason. I know we weren’t… together anymore. But I thought-” He cuts himself off abruptly.

He’d thought it was temporary. That when they both finished school, they’d try again. He _knows_ that Jason thought the same.

Kyle doesn’t regret that it didn’t work out, doesn’t regret meeting Connor and falling in love with him. He wouldn’t give Connor up for anything, but. Well. Sometimes he still mourned the loss of the life he’d envisioned with Jason.

“I’m sorry,” Jason says again, and Kyle hates himself a little for causing that hitch in Jason’s voice. For making him cry. For the way that, for so long, that was exactly what he wanted.

“I tried talking to Rose and Miguel, you know?” he continues, forcing himself to get through this conversation without losing his nerve. Jason’s breath hitches. “They said you were pulling back from them, too. I was so-” Kyle lets out a harsh breath, his fingers curling hard around the top of the railing. “Fuck, Jason, I was so pissed that you were just another one of those assholes who gets into a relationship and immediately ditches everyone else.”

He should have known better, though. Should have seen that something was wrong - because Jason hadn’t been like that with _him_ \- and tried harder to reach out. But what could he really have done from the other side of the world? If Jason had disconnected his number and stopped taking his messages elsewhere, what else could he have done?

Kyle turns, finally, to look at Jason and immediately wishes he hadn’t. Jason’s cheeks are wet with tears, his shoulders hunched as he curls in on himself. Kyle didn’t even move all that quickly, but it had made Jason flinch anyway, drawing back a half-step that has him bumping into one of the deck chairs. He scrunches his eyes shut, a low, keening whimper escaping him.

Kyle’s heart breaks all over again, any lingering tendrils of anger that he’d been clinging onto bleeding away.

“God, Jason,” he breathes, “what did he do to you?”

He’s not expecting the sob that tears out of Jason at that, and Kyle moves before he even registers that he’s done so. Jason freezes when Kyle’s arms wrap around him, but Kyle refuses to let go. He’s not sure he could even if he wanted to. After a few tense seconds, Jason sags against him, his hands reaching up to curl into the front of Kyle’s shirt as he sobs.

“I’m sorry,” he manages to gasp out between cries. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not- You’re allowed to- to be mad. I’m sorry.”

Kyle’s own eyes water as he holds Jason closer, feeling the tremors wracking through him. “Shh,” he says. “Shh, don’t worry about it, Jason. I know, okay? I know.”

Because he does. He knows this isn’t some manipulative, emotional blackmail bullshit. This isn’t Jason trying to distract Kyle from his rightful anger. Hell, he’s only seen Jason cry twice before - he’s not the sort to pull out the waterworks at the drop of a hat.

This is years of stress and fear and misplaced guilt bearing down on one person who can only carry so much.

“Shh,” he says again as he rubs circles against the back of Jason’s shoulder. “I forgive you.”

And, in that moment, Kyle’s not exactly surprised to find that he means it.

* * *

Roy meant it when he said he’d be right inside. He makes it as far as the kitchen counter before he drops his head into his hands and lets out a sigh.

He’s not worried, exactly. Or, no. That’s a lie. He’s not worried that Kyle’s going to hurt Jason, not the way he’s certain Jason still is, but he’s still worried about what the fallout is going to look like. He can’t believe Kyle didn’t say something before today. This was supposed to be a good day. He was supposed to show Ollie that there was nothing to worry about, that Jason wasn’t going to cause them any problems.

That worked out great.

Bitterly, Roy wonders if this was all part of Kyle’s plan. If Kyle was really so angry at Jason that he was willing to pull a stunt like this at both his and Roy’s expense. It’s unfair, he knows. Kyle’s not particularly malicious, but hell hath no fury like a dude scorned, or whatever.

He looks up when he hears socks squeak against linoleum. Great. Ollie. Just who he wanted to see right now. Roy sighs.

Oliver’s gaze drifts from him over to the patio doors, his brow pinching.

“What’s all that about?”

Roy sighs again.

“Apparently,” he says, “Jason and Kyle used to date.”

Ollie blinks at him for a few seconds before he reaches up to rub at his temple.

“Of course they did,” he mutters, and Roy bristles a little. “Because he doesn’t bring enough trouble with him already.”

“Hey,” Roy snaps, and Oliver raises a brow at him. “Why are you being such an ass, Ollie? I thought you’d be happy I’m finally moving on.”

Oliver steps closer, standing in front of him. His expression makes Roy feel all of fifteen years old again.

“I told you, I would be much, _much_ happier if you were moving on with literally anyone other than one of Ra’s’ grandkids.”

Roy crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at his father. “I’m not having this argument with you, Ollie,” he says. “Jason’s a great guy, and he’d never let anything happen to me or Lian. The fact that you think otherwise just makes me think you don’t believe I wouldn’t give Ra’s a reason to do something in the first place.”

“Roy,” Oliver cuts in, his jaw twitching as he scowls. “You know that’s not true.”

Roy’s nostrils flare as he lets out a harsh breath.

“I’m not going to fight with you when Jason could come back inside any minute,” he grits out, and Oliver snorts. “Fuck, Ollie, can you stop being such a jackass? You _know_ he’s dealing with a lot of shit right now, and you’ve been purposely freaking him out on and off all evening. I would have taken him and Lian and left by now if I didn’t know how goddamn badly he wanted to earn your approval.”

Oliver takes a half-step back at that, his expression twisting with guilt.

“You don’t get to be mad at me for trying to look out for you and Lian, Roy.”

“If this is how you’re going to do it?” Roy says. “Yes, I do.”

A noise from outside startles them both. It sounded suspiciously like a sob, and Roy jolts forward, bouncing off of Ollie in his haste to get to the door.

“Woah,” Ollie says, reaching out to steady him. But he doesn’t linger, letting Roy step around him. Roy pauses when he gets within view of the door, though, because. Because Kyle’s got his arms around Jason, holding him tightly, and. Yeah. Yeah, Jason is definitely crying, Roy can hear it more clearly now as Jason breaks down completely. But. But he’s _letting_ Kyle hold him, clearly comfortable in the other man’s embrace, and Roy tries not to let it spark jealousy in his gut.

He trusts Jason, he reminds himself, and Jason told him that his feelings for Kyle were all in the past.

This isn’t some romantic scene. It’s just release. Comfort.

It’s probably exactly what Jason and Kyle need, if he’s being honest. Maybe this will help clear the air between them.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks back to see Oliver standing behind him, his lips drawn down into a frown.

“I don’t know how Bruce lets him out of his sight,” he says after a moment. Roy blinks, pulling away so that he can turn around and face Ollie, a question on his lips. But Oliver speaks again first. “If that boy out there was one of you, I-”

Oliver pauses, swallowing hard, and Roy leans in to rest his head against his father’s chest.

“Yeah,” Roy agrees, thinking about Lian.

“I’m not a rational man, Roy,” Oliver says. “And I don’t count on Jason’s grandfather to be one, either. Nor his mother, if we’re being candid. After what he’s been through, his family is going to be ready to pounce over the smallest perceived slight.” He sighs and slings an arm around Roy’s shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze. “I just don’t want you and Lian caught in the crossfire over some mistake.”

“You’ve gotta trust me, Dad,” Roy whispers, trying not to let the heat of Oliver’s body and the arm around his shoulders sooth him too deeply; he’s too old for that, dammit. “I know what I’m doing.”

Oliver sighs, long and drawn out, and squeezes Roy’s shoulders one last time before he lets his arm drop.

“You’re just going to have to give me some time to get used to it, kid,” he concedes, and Roy bites back a smile. When he’s sure he won’t betray himself, he pulls away.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “I can do that. Just try to be less of a dick in the meantime, okay? He’s had enough of that to last a lifetime.”

Guilt flickers across Oliver’s face, and his gaze darts to the patio door once more. Roy’s gaze follows, and he’s only a little surprised to see Kyle and Jason still locked in a tight embrace. Kyle looks up suddenly, meeting his eyes through the glass, and the heartache on his friend’s - oh, who is he kidding? His _brother’s_ \- face makes his own chest ache.

“Alright,” Oliver says. “You win. I’ll go easier on him.”

“Thanks, Ollie,” Roy mumbles. He snorts when Oliver nudges his shoulder, still able to read him so well after all these years.

“Go on, then,” he says. “Go get your boy sorted out.”

Roy nods and steps forward.

* * *

Kyle looks up, alerted by the sound of the glass door sliding open, and Roy shoots him a hesitant smile. He steps out onto the patio, watching as Kyle ducks his head back down towards Jason and murmurs something to him. Whatever he said makes Jason look up, his red eyes and wet cheeks on full display as he looks at Roy. His bottom lip trembles and he bites back a soft sob as he detangles one hand from Kyle’s shirt and reaches out towards Roy.

Roy crosses over to them immediately, taking Jason’s hand and raising it to his lips to kiss his knuckles.

“Hey, Jaybird,” he says gently. Kyle’s hold on Jason loosens as he starts to pull back, and Roy drags Jason into his own arms as he glances at Kyle and gives him a nod. “I’ve got this,” he mouths. Kyle looks torn, his own eyes a little wet, but he finally nods back. He touches Jason’s shoulder gently, a final gesture of support, and then makes his exit. He closes the door behind himself when he goes back inside.

Roy nuzzles into Jason’s curls and tightens his arms when Jason sags against him. He doesn’t speak, just holding his boyfriend as he rubs Jason’s shoulder in slow, soothing strokes. Eventually, he starts to hum quietly, rocking them both just slightly until Jason’s breathing evens out. A few more moments pass before Jason shifts, and Roy loosens his hold, allowing the younger man to pull back and look up at him.

“There you are,” he murmurs, and Jason bites his lip as pink spreads across his cheeks. Gently, Roy brushes his knuckles across Jason’s cheek, clearing away some of the tear-tracks.

“Sorry,” Jason whispers eventually. “I- Sorry.” There’s a flash of panic in Jason’s eyes, and Roy makes a considering noise.

“What are you sorry for, exactly?” he asks, hoping it doesn’t come across as some weird, fucked-up test. Making that mistake once already was more than enough.

Jason blinks slowly, clearly a little confused. Good. Roy knows it can’t happen overnight, and it probably can’t happen if he’s the only one trying, but… Making Jason stop and think instead of just apologizing instinctively seems like a good idea. If it can help Jason break that cycle of thinking he’s always in the wrong, of immediately apologizing as a means to placat whoever he thinks he’s angered… Well, Roy thinks he should at least try.

Jason’s expression shifts after a moment, turning thoughtful, and Roy cups his cheek and brushes his thumb back and forth over it as Jason thinks.

“For causing a scene,” Jason finally says, his voice wavering with uncertainty.

“Now?” Roy pushes. “Or inside?”

Jason swallows hard and looks away, his shoulders starting to inch up towards his ears. “Both.”

Roy hums, makes sure it sounds like a request and not a demand when he asks, “Look at me?” It takes a second, but Jason does. “Ollie was being an _asshole_ , and you weren’t wrong to defend _or_ excuse yourself. I’m actually crazy proud of you, babe. I know that couldn’t have been easy.” Jason’s eyes widen slightly, the blush on his cheeks darkening as his lips part around a quiet noise of surprise. Damn, Jason really has no right being so fucking _pretty_. Especially when he’s just been crying. Roy has to fight not to shift too obviously when he feels his cock stirring a little.

It’s really, _really_ not a good time to be thinking of other reasons Jason could be flushed and crying. _Good_ crying, obviously, but. Still. _Shit_.

 _“And,”_ he continues, and Roy hopes his voice stays even, “I’m glad you and Kyle talked things out. You both needed that, I think.” Slowly, he lets his hand slide down the side of Jason’s face, and he curls his knuckles under Jason’s chin, nudging his face up a little higher so that Jason meets his eyes. “I know it must be hard,” he says, “knowing that everyone in there… has some idea of what happened to you.” Jason winces, but he doesn’t look away. “But it also means that no one is going to be upset with you for needing to take a breather. You’ve been through so much, Jay, and I’m constantly in awe of the way you keep pushing through it. You’re amazing. I don’t think anyone tells you that enough.”

Tears well up in Jason’s eyes again at that, and Roy leans in, brushes his lips gently over his boyfriend’s.

“You never need to apologize to me for getting upset, okay?” Roy says. “And I will _never_ get mad at you for taking yourself out of a situation that makes you uncomfortable.”

Jason nods slowly. He looks a little dazed, in all honesty, and Roy’s not completely sure that Jason actually _believes_ him, but it’s a start.

“Now,” he says, “do you want to go back inside? Or do you need a little longer?” Roy pauses, and then he adds, “Or, if you want to leave, we can do that, too.”

Jason doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he seems to be searching Roy’s expression, his eyes. If he’s looking for any indication that there’s a catch, Roy knows he won’t find it. He does what he can to project patience, to show that there’s no right - or wrong - answer. Finally, Jason licks his lips and opens his mouth.

“We can go back inside,” he says. Roy’s almost surprised by how sure Jason sounds. It just makes him feel even more in awe of Jason’s strength.

“Okay,” he agrees. Roy leans in and brushes another kiss over Jason’s lips before he pulls back. Jason reaches up to wipe at his cheeks and then runs a hand through his hair. “But whenever you’re ready to go, you just tell me, okay? I won’t be mad.”

Jason hesitates, but it’s only for a moment. He nods. When Roy offers him his hand, Jason takes it.

“Okay.” Jason’s lips curl into a small smile, and Roy swears his heart could burst. “I will.”


End file.
